You Might Be An Educator IF...

You Might Be An Educator If..

~You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.

~You think they should put Ritalin in candy form and distribute it on the playground.

~You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers free!"

~ You believe chocolate is a food group.

~You can tell it's a full moon, snowing, hailing, an holiday, or a beautiful day in the middle of winter without ever looking outside.

~You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.

~You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

~When out in public you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior. This includes telling children to "Go pull their clip/card" without even thinking about it.

~You have no time for a social life between August to June.

~Marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO much simpler.

~When you mention "vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.

~You think people should HAVE to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

~You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

~You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the lounge.

~You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

~You drink AirBorne like its Hot Chocolate

~You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling. Have offer to help them pack when they move out of the School District.

~You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary school setting for at least 5 years.

~You've had your profession slammed by someone who would never DREAM of doing your job.

~You don't know what to name your children because there's no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you uttered it.

~You think caffeine should be available to staff in IV form.

~You know you're in for a MAJOR project when a parent says, "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun!"

~Your personal life comes to a screeching halt at report card time.

~Meeting a child's parents instantly make you go "OH! That explains why your child is the way they are."

~You think that Halloween and Valentine's Day should always be the last Saturday of the month.